So as I sit staring at my computer trying to edit holding my 3 month old in my arms, I just have to spill my guts… I am tired. I am tired of not having enough hours in the day to get everything done in life that I think I need to accomplish. I am tired of choosing work over my kids, and housekeeping over my work, and working out over my housekeeping, and everything over spending time with my husband… and the circle goes round and round! Oh and I do love sleep too, which is trumped by everything else as well. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, I love my kids, I don’t love housekeeping, but I love having a clean and organized household, I hate working out, but I love losing this baby weight, and I love my hubby, but what I don’t love is constantly choosing one thing over the next. I want to find balance in my life! Anybody else feel the same way?!
I have always been a busy bee, putting way too much on my plate and then challenging myself to be good at everything. In high school I played three sports, in college I couldn’t play just one, I had to do 2, all while juggling home and school. When I became a mom I decided to stay home with my babies, but I would always do something outside of the home as well. Whether it be coaching high school sports or teaching fitness classes (my degree is in exercise science). Heck, I can remember when I coached softball with my good friend Lisa and in-between innings I would have to sit in the dug out and pump (pump what? you who aren’t mommies may ask. my babies nursed… off of me – google it ;)). As long as I can remember I have always done two things at once (that’s what she said, SORRY, I couldn’t resist!).
Well, now I have 4 kids, a hubby, and a business and within that business I thought that I could do everything. Although I enjoy photographing high school seniors, newborns, families, maternity, boudoir & weddings (man, I just get exhausted listing all those categories), there is only one that I can say that I truly love, love, love and that is weddings. Trust me, I thank God every day that my business has really taken off and that I have been consistently booked up for the past year. But in the past year I have moved and had a baby. I have lived in this house for almost 6 months and I have no pictures or paint on my walls and my so-called maternity leave never happened. My house is messy, I am tired, and I am fat… plain and simple, I will be burnt out soon if I don’t change. I love photography and I have decided to focus only on Engagements and Weddings (and a side of boudoir for my brides). I will have lots of changes taking place in the next few months: rebranding, new blog, new website… OY VEY! I know it sounds like a lot of work and it will be, but in the long run I will be happier and more importantly I will be able to give my brides & grooms the time they deserve, my family more time and possibly even start hanging out with friends again (I’ll keep holding my breath for that one and so should you). Oh and maybe even myself some me time.
So I know some of you have gift certificates and some of you are already booked with me and you are freaking out a little, but don’t worry. To my clients that I am already committed to I’m not going to break up with you ;). I just won’t be taking on any new clientele that doesn’t fall into my specialty. Trust me, this hasn’t been an easy decision, but I am so ready for the change! And to any new clients that are looking for a photographer, I know a few great ones and I would love to pass on their info. Don’t ever be afraid to ask.
My friends always ask me how I do it all, well, I don’t and I won’t try any more. I LOVE weddings and this will be my focus :). And you will see why in the months to come. Thanks for listening. I encourage you to make a change in your life if you are feeling overwhelmed. I know it is hard, but we can do it together!